








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2671 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3425 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3051 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,627,408 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | DingBuddy | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Mythic | 53% | 369 |
| #4 | Noname | 52% | 206 |
| #5 | theo | 52% | 333 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mythic | 53% | 369 |
| #4 | Noname | 52% | 206 |
| #5 | theo | 52% | 333 |
| #6 | LeBarryTon | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Cutter | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Mythic | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Noname | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Noname | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Cutter | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | 1004 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | Mythic | 844 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | Cutter | 292 | 0.39 | 7 min |
| #4 | Noname | 252 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | DingBuddy | 93 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +3.92 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | DingBuddy | +3.03 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | Mythic | +1.19 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | theo | +1.13 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | LeBarryTon | +0.17 | 90 | 61 |





