








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 19% |
| Smokes | 694 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1515 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,589 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi the Worm | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Der Narr | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | xEinRalle | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | DeeerOnur | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | elfaZ- | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DeeerOnur | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | elfaZ- | 41% | 39 |
| #6 | Olaf of Duty | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | SkillyAK.HYU | 32% | 28 |
| #8 | Sasha | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elfaZ- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | DeeerOnur | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Sasha | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xEinRalle | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | elfaZ- | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Der Narr | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Willi the Worm | 34 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sasha | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Narr | +9.79 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Willi the Worm | +6.41 | 90 | 76 |
| #3 | elfaZ- | +6.04 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | xEinRalle | +0.07 | 49 | 61 |
| #5 | Sasha | -0.46 | 41 | 59 |





