










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 619 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2079 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1498 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2055 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,460 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toni | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | TanteFred | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | sLg|LucKeR | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | sLg|TheLegend27 | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | JD | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๋ | 10 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Jon4s | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | xsanjin | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | JD | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | sLg|Noumet | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 142 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | xsanjin | 123 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | JD | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | mimas | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jon4s | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | +4.86 | 84 | 50 |
| #2 | ๋ | +4.52 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | xsanjin | +3.27 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | mimas | +3.26 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | sLg|Noumet | +3.07 | 82 | 64 |





