








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3027 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2734 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2797 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2546 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,042 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1014 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosEmperorDragon | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | RefiaKazus | 56% | 133 |
| #3 | Till | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | {Hybrid} | 50% | 167 |
| #5 | KelvinKleinAbuser | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | {Hybrid} | 50% | 167 |
| #5 | KelvinKleinAbuser | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Najinator | 50% | 150 |
| #7 | Spinach | 46% | 161 |
| #8 | Ender | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinach | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | {Hybrid} | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Najinator | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | RefiaKazus | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Till | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinach | 425 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | {Hybrid} | 383 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Najinator | 356 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | RefiaKazus | 231 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Till | 231 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♫moving | +1.68 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | {Hybrid} | +1.24 | 37 | 63 |
| #3 | ChaosEmperorDragon | +0.90 | 30 | 68 |
| #4 | KelvinKleinAbuser | +0.59 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Till | +0.33 | 71 | 50 |





