








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1301 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,138 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | yoosty | 60% | 72 |
| #3 | ado1fo | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | GRANNYXANNY | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | a | 57% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | yoosty | 60% | 72 |
| #3 | ado1fo | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | GRANNYXANNY | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | a | 57% | 58 |
| #6 | Sup | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRANNYXANNY | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bunny | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | yoosty | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | a | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a | 335 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | GRANNYXANNY | 323 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | yoosty | 168 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ado1fo | 137 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bunny | 122 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofu | +3.39 | 88 | 78 |
| #2 | Bunny | +1.15 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | a | +0.88 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | yoosty | -0.00 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | GRANNYXANNY | -0.35 | 71 | 72 |





