








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1975 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1397 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1323 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,102 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『Embrace』 | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | ⊹ eman0n ⊹ | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | ado1fo | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Bunny | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | yoosty | 59% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRANNYXANNY | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Bunny | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | yoosty | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | tofu | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRANNYXANNY | 284 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | tofu | 255 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 235 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #4 | yoosty | 180 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bunny | 157 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊹ eman0n ⊹ | +2.79 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | a | +1.78 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | 123 | +1.47 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Bunny | +1.44 | 88 | 63 |
| #5 | tofu | +1.11 | 82 | 77 |





