








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1149 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1471 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,643 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOBER KURWA | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Zujin | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | DrGhost | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | oäo | 51% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oäo | 51% | 78 |
| #6 | Berrix | 50% | 107 |
| #7 | Hass_Rede | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | twitch.tv/neonorangeyt | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | \-| Frixx |-/ | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oäo | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Berrix | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | DrGhost | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oäo | 410 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Berrix | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | DrGhost | 210 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zujin | 101 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oäo | +1.17 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Gusseiserner Grübler | +0.77 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Zujin | +0.41 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/neonorangeyt | +0.25 | 84 | 31 |
| #5 | Berrix | +0.15 | 75 | 69 |





