








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2559 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2333 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,270 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ readem | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Berrix | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | DrGhost | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 55% | 297 |
| #5 | So3! ♫ | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 55% | 297 |
| #5 | So3! ♫ | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | Bot Neon | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | IsZo# :> | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | BOBER KURWA | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | DrGhost | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | So3! ♫ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bot Neon | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BOBER KURWA | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrGhost | 503 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 467 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Berrix | 139 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | So3! ♫ | 135 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ readem | 75 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gusseiserner Grübler | +1.54 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Berrix | +0.41 | 63 | 75 |
| #3 | DrGhost | +0.35 | 59 | 84 |
| #4 | Zujin | -0.45 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ readem | -1.11 | 63 | 64 |





