








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3701 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4984 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2901 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,254,155 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | GAMMA | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | 叫んだ | 51% | 49 |
| #4 | Shiro | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | Hibike! re1na | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | GAMMA | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | 叫んだ | 51% | 49 |
| #4 | Shiro | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | Hibike! re1na | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiro | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Hibike! re1na | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | GAMMA | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | 叫んだ | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Crissa | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiro | 325 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hibike! re1na | 277 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Crissa | 176 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | 叫んだ | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | GAMMA | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiro | +2.97 | 53 | 61 |
| #2 | gr | +0.76 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | Hibike! re1na | +0.64 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Crissa | +0.13 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | GAMMA | -0.47 | 55 | 18 |





