








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4171 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4415 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3755 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4350 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,512,423 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vardu | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | Guppy)) | 57% | 138 |
| #3 | Mestari | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Guru | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | niklas | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 要 Smäikkä | 51% | 65 |
| #10 | jappe | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | Louhiss | 48% | 114 |
| #12 | JulleS | 48% | 85 |
| #13 | lev1z | 48% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lev1z | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Guru | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | :) | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Guppy)) | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Mestari | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | 517 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kailando | 506 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | Louhiss | 429 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | Guppy)) | 294 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Guru | 246 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tumpe | +2.00 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | jappe | +1.95 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | niklas | +1.04 | 67 | 41 |
| #4 | Guru | +0.98 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | :) | +0.95 | 80 | 67 |





