








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1898 | 52% |
| Smokes | 683 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 968 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,929 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kj | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Yeet | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | Kairos | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kj | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Yeet | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | Kairos | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeet | 13 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Kj | 5 | 0.0204 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Kairos | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugandan Kuckles | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kairos | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yeet | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kj | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | +2.17 | 53 | 50 |
| #2 | Doggles | +0.99 | 57 | 62 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | +0.67 | 50 | 75 |
| #4 | Kj | +0.37 | 76 | 36 |
| #5 | Yeet | -0.20 | 42 | 18 |





