








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 510 | 28% |
| Smokes | 748 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 89 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 501 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,592 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cam the sexy young boy | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Garry Glitter | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Tommy g | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Spoon | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | bllybs | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy g | 146 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Garry Glitter | 86 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | fab | 85 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | bllybs | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Buzin | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy g | +3.65 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Mr Pee | +1.80 | 69 | 28 |
| #3 | most devious lick | +1.57 | 75 | 37 |
| #4 | fab | +1.42 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | Spoon | +1.35 | 65 | 36 |





