








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2906 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2209 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2176 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,239 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nick | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Mr Pee | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | cam the sexy young boy | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | MYTRAIDMARK™ | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Spoon | 49% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | most devious lick | 61 | 0.0324 |
| #2 | Mr Pee | 48 | 0.0235 |
| #3 | Tommy g | 46 | 0.0259 |
| #4 | Spoon | 40 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | MYTRAIDMARK™ | 27 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MYTRAIDMARK™ | 334 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tommy g | 285 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Garry Glitter | 193 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Spoon | 157 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | most devious lick | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy g | +3.20 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Mr Pee | +2.21 | 73 | 36 |
| #3 | Spoon | +2.07 | 59 | 43 |
| #4 | most devious lick | +0.89 | 74 | 28 |
| #5 | MYTRAIDMARK™ | +0.75 | 66 | 59 |





