








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
76 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 67 | 35% |
| Smokes | 34 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 61 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 29 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,841 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle RuneScape | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | EVIL Jordan barrett | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | PostrachKobiet69pl | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Akira Nishikiyama | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Mobcontroll | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle RuneScape | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | EVIL Jordan barrett | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | PostrachKobiet69pl | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Akira Nishikiyama | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Mobcontroll | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EVIL Jordan barrett | 4 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Akira Nishikiyama | 2 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Mobcontroll | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | PostrachKobiet69pl | 1 | 0.0417 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle RuneScape | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Mobcontroll | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | PostrachKobiet69pl | 2 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Akira Nishikiyama | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle RuneScape | +2.75 | 49 | 27 |
| #2 | PostrachKobiet69pl | +2.24 | 40 | 47 |
| #3 | Akira Nishikiyama | +0.92 | 40 | 21 |
| #4 | EVIL Jordan barrett | +0.08 | 90 | 8 |
| #5 | Shaferbro | -0.10 | 50 | 37 |





