










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2639 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3772 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1996 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,518 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemorrhoid hunter | 52% | 109 |
| #2 | Jozé45 Blyat | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | veksi | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | Kinderi | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | Nj@ksu | 49% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lappis | 47% | 161 |
| #8 | زنجي | 47% | 131 |
| #9 | santtulanttu | 43% | 51 |
| #10 | Jaax | 41% | 69 |
| #11 | boobpiss | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemorrhoid hunter | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Nug3tt1x | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Kinderi | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Lappis | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Nj@ksu | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nug3tt1x | 597 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | زنجي | 487 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | boobpiss | 228 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lappis | 217 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jaax | 212 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemorrhoid hunter | +1.77 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | Nug3tt1x | +1.49 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | veksi | +1.32 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | زنجي | +1.21 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | Kinderi | +0.65 | 69 | 55 |





