








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 675 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3197 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4648 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2361 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,788,952 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [4Guys1AWP] Smirri | 51% | 211 |
| #2 | Schmutzi | 50% | 319 |
| #3 | HulkHodn | 50% | 185 |
| #4 | DG1908 | 49% | 237 |
| #5 | P1MpF | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmutzi | 548 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | [4Guys1AWP] Smirri | 309 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | DG1908 | 210 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | HulkHodn | 160 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | empTy | 135 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok | +1.92 | 48 | 34 |
| #2 | Schmutzi | +1.06 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | [4Guys1AWP] Smirri | +0.49 | 40 | 59 |
| #4 | HulkHodn | +0.06 | 43 | 58 |
| #5 | P1MpF | -1.20 | 9 | 20 |





