








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 498 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3781 | 14% |
| Smokes | 9764 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 7212 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5757 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $9,707,598 of utility $320 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok | 50% | 185 |
| #2 | Precok | 49% | 146 |
| #3 | Freddy Krueger | 48% | 186 |
| #4 | Schmutzi | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | P1MpF | 48% | 457 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | empTy | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | P1MpF | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Freddy Krueger | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Neilo91 | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | empTy | 380 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | Freddy Krueger | 368 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Precok | 212 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Neilo91 | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Schmutzi | 118 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok | +2.76 | 45 | 37 |
| #2 | Freddy Krueger | +1.06 | 55 | 48 |
| #3 | HulkHodn | +0.44 | 50 | 51 |
| #4 | Schmutzi | +0.26 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | Neilo91 | -0.13 | 46 | 48 |





