








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 974 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1478 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,078 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lichmade | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Microsoft Xbox 360 | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | ProPlayerArbi | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | 4ri | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lichmade | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Microsoft Xbox 360 | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | ProPlayerArbi | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | 4ri | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lichmade | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Microsoft Xbox 360 | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lichmade | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | ProPlayerArbi | 52 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | 4ri | 48 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Microsoft Xbox 360 | 15 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Microsoft Xbox 360 | +4.34 | 66 | 30 |
| #2 | ProPlayerArbi | +3.97 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | 4ri | +1.01 | 34 | 69 |
| #4 | Bocchi the Abe the 2nd | +0.57 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | Lichmade | +0.25 | 63 | 62 |





