








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 32% |
| Smokes | 533 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 677 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,663 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | thai lady boy | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | blue collar worker | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | JuicySplash | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | mikey | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mikey | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | Lax | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Big Boy | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | lmao | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Tanner Spreckel | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | JuicySplash | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | mikey | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | thai lady boy | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 59 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tanner Spreckel | 57 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | mikey | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | thai lady boy | 46 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | blue collar worker | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue collar worker | +2.78 | 58 | 65 |
| #2 | Senpaii | +2.01 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | +0.40 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Big Boy | -0.09 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | thai lady boy | -0.14 | 69 | 70 |





