








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 585 | 19% |
| Smokes | 200 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1331 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,679 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puzzlemaster98 | 46% | 94 |
| #2 | Kvams | 45% | 95 |
| #3 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | OrKa | 43% | 106 |
| #5 | Fowies | 39% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | OrKa | 43% | 106 |
| #5 | Fowies | 39% | 143 |
| #6 | 001 | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | levlQuattro | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fowies | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 001 | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | OrKa | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Puzzlemaster98 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kvams | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fowies | 332 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | OrKa | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kvams | 165 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Puzzlemaster98 | 137 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | 001 | 107 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | +4.86 | 87 | 81 |
| #2 | 001 | +2.41 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | OrKa | +2.28 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | Puzzlemaster98 | +0.81 | 29 | 68 |
| #5 | Fowies | -0.12 | 54 | 54 |





