








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3468 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 943 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,721 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor O'Malley | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | fartnut | 50% | 129 |
| #3 | AlmightyBunghole | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Girth Quake | 47% | 143 |
| #5 | JNASTY93 | 45% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Girth Quake | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | fartnut | 208 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | AlmightyBunghole | 161 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Connor O'Malley | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | JNASTY93 | 34 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor O'Malley | +5.97 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Girth Quake | +0.74 | 43 | 46 |
| #3 | fartnut | +0.69 | 18 | 52 |
| #4 | AoP Shakes | +0.58 | 46 | 45 |
| #5 | AlmightyBunghole | -1.04 | 29 | 52 |





