








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2438 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3170 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3236 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,091,014 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor O'Malley | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Girth Quake | 51% | 225 |
| #3 | AoP Shakes | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | AlmightyBunghole | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | JNASTY93 | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor O'Malley | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Girth Quake | 51% | 225 |
| #3 | AoP Shakes | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | AlmightyBunghole | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | JNASTY93 | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlmightyBunghole | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | JNASTY93 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Connor O'Malley | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Girth Quake | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | AoP Shakes | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Girth Quake | 253 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | AlmightyBunghole | 220 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | AoP Shakes | 173 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Connor O'Malley | 170 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | JNASTY93 | 75 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor O'Malley | +6.99 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | fartnut | +0.68 | 19 | 54 |
| #3 | Girth Quake | +0.11 | 41 | 44 |
| #4 | AoP Shakes | -0.33 | 39 | 42 |
| #5 | AlmightyBunghole | -2.48 | 36 | 49 |





