








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1865 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1527 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,971 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lubbikopf | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Dank Giraffe | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Klosteinkoster | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | evil | 56% | 99 |
| #5 | HnTr | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HnTr | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Lachkopf | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | evil | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | toqler | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HnTr | 343 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Lachkopf | 248 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | toqler | 125 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | evil | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dank Giraffe | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evil | +2.92 | 90 | 42 |
| #2 | Stan the Man | +1.57 | 92 | 66 |
| #3 | HnTr | +1.16 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | Lachkopf | -0.65 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | Klosteinkoster | -0.70 | 72 | 40 |





