








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 22% |
| Smokes | 457 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 521 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,371 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlickærN™ | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | ⚡Spartakongen | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Blackbear | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Luzio | 51% | 162 |
| #5 | BrainyK | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BrainyK | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Skylerix | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | SÄRPO | 45% | 146 |
| #8 | ?ofolyx | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzio | 24 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | SÄRPO | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ?ofolyx | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ⚡Spartakongen | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SÄRPO | 488 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Luzio | 243 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 93 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | ?ofolyx | 76 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ⚡Spartakongen | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Spartakongen | +5.57 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Luzio | +4.36 | 76 | 46 |
| #3 | Philip_Cold | +1.65 | 74 | 37 |
| #4 | FlickærN™ | +0.67 | 41 | 39 |
| #5 | Skylerix | -0.31 | 32 | 22 |





