








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1526 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1202 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1364 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,446,032 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzio | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | ⚡Spartakongen | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | BrainyK | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | SÄRPO | 44% | 268 |
| #5 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BrainyK | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | SÄRPO | 44% | 268 |
| #5 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Philip_Cold | 43% | 51 |
| #7 | Skylerix | 41% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SÄRPO | 34 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Philip_Cold | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Luzio | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Skylerix | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SÄRPO | 1079 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Philip_Cold | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ⚡Spartakongen | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | BrainyK | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Spartakongen | +7.48 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | Luzio | +5.92 | 75 | 36 |
| #3 | Philip_Cold | +3.35 | 77 | 30 |
| #4 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | +3.11 | 58 | 77 |
| #5 | Skylerix | -0.51 | 22 | 18 |





