








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 980 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16473 | 36% |
| Smokes | 11217 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11101 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6967 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,025,870 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Skylerix | 47% | 178 |
| #7 | Philip_Cold | 45% | 146 |
| #8 | ?ofolyx | 44% | 268 |
| #9 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 43% | 127 |
| #10 | ♡EngaChick | 39% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HiPS] FPS-FREPPA | 567 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Luzio | 486 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | ⚡Spartakongen | 479 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | ?ofolyx | 360 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♡EngaChick | 278 | 0.13 | 6 min |





