








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 911 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 362 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




174 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13696 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10564 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 14574 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 11072 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,561 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5096 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | didlzz | 51% | 91 |
| #7 | SkankovaKita | 49% | 118 |
| #8 | joca_bar | 48% | 255 |
| #9 | Kitty of Chaos | 47% | 119 |
| #10 | Ordi | 45% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joca_bar | 51 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Kitty of Chaos | 31 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | макито косаламо | 26 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | angel | 24 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | SkankovaKita | 19 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordi | 953 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | макито косаламо | 496 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kalister | 361 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | joca_bar | 359 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | SkankovaKita | 318 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | макито косаламо | +4.25 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | Kalister | +2.60 | 69 | 52 |
| #3 | Kitty of Chaos | +2.14 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | бехмир | +2.07 | 61 | 47 |
| #5 | Zaxelele | -0.44 | 54 | 57 |





