








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3299 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3370 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4999 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2847 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,455 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 12KG RAT | 204 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | Läämä (END eSports) | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | puupakk | 130 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | ProSprayszzz | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | HELPMEAIM;O | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |





