








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 670 | 37% |
| Smokes | 458 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 342 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,383 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carlton | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | RIPMAX | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | biscuits | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | bates | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | mes | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bates | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | mes | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Ross | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Ellemby | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | r00 | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biscuits | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | carlton | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biscuits | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | RIPMAX | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ross | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | bates | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | r00 | 22 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ya w0t m8 | +4.21 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Ross | +0.56 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | biscuits | +0.22 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | r00 | -0.32 | 86 | 73 |
| #5 | carlton | -0.47 | 66 | 78 |





