








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 462 | 43% |
| Smokes | 157 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,326 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulju | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | mirpp | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | pnksta | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Johannes | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | jutsi =D | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | suRma | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 105 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | suRma | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ͞ ͞ ͞ ͞ ͞ ﻝﮞ | 54 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | pnksta | 48 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | MaldingTsugumi<3 | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mirpp | +5.78 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Bulju | +5.40 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | MaldingTsugumi<3 | +2.92 | 82 | 76 |
| #4 | pnksta | +2.91 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | suRma | +1.11 | 71 | 70 |





