








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3508 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 859 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1688 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,722 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tylenol | 26 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | sad | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | William McChesney Martin | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | vale | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | izmattk | 5 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeanBurrito | 162 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | vale | 136 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | sad | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tylenol | 104 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | poor chigga | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeanBurrito | +2.19 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | vale | +2.16 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Tylenol | +1.97 | 78 | 46 |
| #4 | sad | +1.82 | 90 | 55 |
| #5 | poor chigga | +1.61 | 79 | 62 |





