








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1283 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1562 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1637 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,804 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poor chigga | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | ola moum | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | BeanBurrito | 60% | 89 |
| #4 | vale | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | han | 53% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | han | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | O . O | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | William McChesney Martin | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | vale | 12 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | izmattk | 10 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | han | 721 | 0.31 | 20 min |
| #2 | BeanBurrito | 221 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | O . O | 131 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | ola moum | 130 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | vale | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tylenol | +3.07 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | izmattk | +2.73 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | BeanBurrito | +2.04 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | ola moum | +1.92 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | poor chigga | +1.17 | 80 | 53 |





