








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1174 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1025 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1642 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,710 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 947 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | han | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | BeanBurrito | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | Tylenol | 48% | 125 |
| #6 | vale | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | O . O | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tylenol | 31 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | ola moum | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | O . O | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | han | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | BeanBurrito | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ola moum | 351 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | han | 285 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | BeanBurrito | 230 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tylenol | 98 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | vale | 98 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tylenol | +3.41 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | BeanBurrito | +3.33 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | ola moum | +2.53 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | vale | +1.86 | 84 | 55 |
| #5 | han | +0.80 | 83 | 58 |





