








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2437 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2183 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1831 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2138 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,547 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awsy2 | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | jussukka | 76% | 74 |
| #3 | Aero | 69% | 75 |
| #4 | zimo | 66% | 29 |
| #5 | kal$u | 65% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kaleb1wowjesus | 57% | 89 |
| #11 | Zedin | 54% | 26 |
| #12 | Blindi | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | RaptoR | 45% | 29 |
| #14 | Julle | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussukka | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | kal$u | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Aero | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | aiicha | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Zedin | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kal$u | 470 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Aero | 288 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | jussukka | 280 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | kaleb1wowjesus | 203 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kroukki | 196 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussukka | +3.01 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | awsy2 | +2.83 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | Gatsby | +2.56 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | aiicha | +1.24 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | kal$u | +1.03 | 80 | 66 |





