








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1300 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1585 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,402 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snort rack get wack | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Mr. Chonky | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | mitch | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Val | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | MizpahPlayz - TRADING SKINS | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mitch | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Val | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | MizpahPlayz - TRADING SKINS | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | LeeAm | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | jerrrrry | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Val | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | jerrrrry | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mitch | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mr. Chonky | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitch | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Val | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | jerrrrry | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr. Chonky | 62 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | snort rack get wack | 53 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xero | +2.70 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Val | +2.37 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr. Chonky | +2.18 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | LeeAm | +1.19 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | jerrrrry | +1.11 | 74 | 40 |





