








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1220 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1601 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1101 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,743 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklas | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | mestari | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | 57% | 98 |
| #4 | turboahtaaja | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | LediMonsteri | 53% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Juiced-Norppa | 50% | 133 |
| #8 | Keijo | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | SpeedyToppa | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | miksukin | 46% | 39 |
| #11 | S E M I H U M A L A | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turboahtaaja | 12 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | S E M I H U M A L A | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Juiced-Norppa | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | niklas | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | 388 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Juiced-Norppa | 272 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | turboahtaaja | 196 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | LediMonsteri | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | S E M I H U M A L A | 74 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turboahtaaja | +3.72 | 62 | 74 |
| #2 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | +3.24 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | niklas | +3.20 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | Keijo | +2.22 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | mestari | +1.43 | 57 | 80 |





