








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 457 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1271 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 944 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,645 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limup0ju | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Juiced-Norppa | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Keijo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | toumai | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt. Zaphkiel | 535 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Juiced-Norppa | 252 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Limup0ju | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ana | 144 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Keijo | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |





