








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1070 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 685 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,796 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1en | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | cAra | 72% | 68 |
| #3 | mai | 72% | 57 |
| #4 | S7 | 71% | 70 |
| #5 | nauh- | 71% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | pixie | 63% | 16 |
| #12 | 『(넙카스트) 케빈』 | 57% | 7 |
| #13 | fantasy | 40% | 10 |
| #14 | Jokerbrain | 29% | 7 |
| #15 | archie | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | S7 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | cAra | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | CJD Simplex | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | encounters | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | 300 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | S7 | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | CJD Simplex | 186 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | cAra | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Teee | 63 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | +2.63 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | fantasy | +1.83 | 91 | 53 |
| #3 | p1en | +1.73 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | cAra | +1.27 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | S7 | +1.00 | 90 | 68 |





