










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 530 | 20% |
| Smokes | 514 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 794 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 782 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,308 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fantasy | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | S7 | 78% | 58 |
| #3 | ulquiorra | 72% | 68 |
| #4 | mai | 70% | 53 |
| #5 | nauh- | 69% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | p1en | 67% | 6 |
| #7 | CJD Simplex | 66% | 58 |
| #8 | dalton | 63% | 8 |
| #9 | lenny weaboo kila | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | 『(넙카스트) 케빈』 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S7 | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | nauh- | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ulquiorra | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | CJD Simplex | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | dalton | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | 267 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | ulquiorra | 258 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | CJD Simplex | 228 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | S7 | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | mai | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fantasy | +4.88 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | nauh- | +2.18 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | ulquiorra | +1.07 | 82 | 61 |
| #4 | S7 | +0.91 | 91 | 70 |
| #5 | cAra | +0.80 | 86 | 53 |





