








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 18% |
| Smokes | 604 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 798 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,540 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lenny weaboo kila | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | p1en | 76% | 41 |
| #3 | S7 | 73% | 89 |
| #4 | nauh- | 72% | 147 |
| #5 | ulquiorra | 72% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | lenny weaboo kila | 6 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | ulquiorra | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | S7 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | p1en | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | 459 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Asterius | 430 | 0.58 | 9 min |
| #3 | CJD Simplex | 357 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | S7 | 310 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | ulquiorra | 208 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nauh- | +3.08 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | S7 | +2.35 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | ulquiorra | +1.17 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | cAra | +1.02 | 89 | 55 |
| #5 | mai | +0.94 | 84 | 40 |





