








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 20% |
| Smokes | 392 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 388 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 382 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,335 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | rämse | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | jkuyko | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Kvg333 | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | TobiJ | 55% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | omses | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | Luiiggi | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | körssiö CAMEL | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | later alligator | 22% | 9 |
| #11 | Ralffi Lauren | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TobiJ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | rämse | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TobiJ | 124 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | omses | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Luiiggi | 54 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | rämse | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | later alligator | 40 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkuyko | +2.04 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | Kvg333 | +1.92 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | +1.29 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | körssiö CAMEL | +1.16 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | Ralffi Lauren | +0.70 | 56 | 72 |





