








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3470 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5055 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3178 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,826 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vattu | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Freyja | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Nuusku02 | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | El Bandolero | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | Woobie Woobie | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldwin | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | BeepBoop | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | zethram | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | pena | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Nuusku02 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeepBoop | 801 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | zethram | 381 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Eldwin | 290 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | VauhtiJäbä | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | El Bandolero | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t✿mps | +4.52 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Freyja | +2.36 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | Vattu | +1.80 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | Eldwin | +0.90 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | El Bandolero | -0.21 | 51 | 58 |





