








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 887 | 27% |
| Smokes | 987 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 729 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 726 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,902 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mape | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | hiskihidodd | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | RailiMummo | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Proto | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | spypas3 | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | aleK | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Mahmoud | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | Roccaw | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Deku | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | s1mple ( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛) | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spypas3 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | hiskihidodd | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Mahmoud | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | aleK | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Roccaw | 2 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hiskihidodd | 268 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | spypas3 | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mahmoud | 123 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Proto | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | RailiMummo | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | +1.88 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Proto | +1.16 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | RailiMummo | +0.83 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | s1mple ( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛) | +0.68 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | hiskihidodd | +0.07 | 57 | 72 |





