








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 39% |
| Smokes | 639 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1504 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1230 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,454 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 901 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djinn | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | Panda | 88% | 17 |
| #3 | Genie | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | ✪ HardTrance | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | The Magician | 61% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | The Magician | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ✪ HardTrance | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Djinn | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Magician | 485 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | poo | 462 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✪ HardTrance | 110 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Genie | 92 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | Panda | 75 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djinn | +9.51 | 96 | 83 |
| #2 | Panda | +6.58 | 91 | 80 |
| #3 | Genie | +3.73 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/demon | +2.38 | 81 | 46 |
| #5 | poo | +0.16 | 75 | 54 |





