








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2248 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2387 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2566 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,845 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djinn | 94% | 16 |
| #2 | KV | 91% | 22 |
| #3 | Panda | 89% | 18 |
| #4 | Genie | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/demon | 61% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/demon | 25 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | poo | 22 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ✪ HardTrance | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | KV | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Djinn | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | 447 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | twitch.tv/demon | 443 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪ HardTrance | 123 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Genie | 118 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | KV | 93 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djinn | +9.91 | 96 | 82 |
| #2 | KV | +8.64 | 87 | 74 |
| #3 | Panda | +7.79 | 92 | 80 |
| #4 | Genie | +2.40 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/demon | +2.23 | 81 | 47 |





