










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2320 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1082 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,344 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider | 81% | 27 |
| #2 | Bryce Meyer | 78% | 41 |
| #3 | NaClmore | 78% | 36 |
| #4 | Doonald Troomp, a real American | 77% | 30 |
| #5 | Look at this FrodoGraph | 73% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave | 30 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | SKS | 9 | 0.0262 |
| #3 | spider | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Mr. Three Milks | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | NaClmore | 3 | 0.0049 |





