








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 28% |
| Smokes | 377 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 290 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,084 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | INT0XICATI0N | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | SKS | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Geo6 | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | NaClmore | 79% | 19 |
| #5 | x | 78% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Doonald Troomp, a real American | 72% | 18 |
| #7 | Look at this FrodoGraph | 70% | 10 |
| #8 | Dave | 64% | 11 |
| #9 | spider | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | Mr. Three Milks | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave | 11 | 0.0570 |
| #2 | x | 7 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | NaClmore | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | spider | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | INT0XICATI0N | 1 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x | 209 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | NaClmore | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dave | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | spider | 30 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doonald Troomp, a real American | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bryce Meyer | +5.89 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | x | +4.28 | 66 | 73 |
| #3 | SKS | +3.36 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | spider | +2.83 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Geo6 | +1.43 | 61 | 69 |





