








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 122 | 16% |
| Smokes | 141 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 187 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,833 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomspon | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Rene | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | And3tzh | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | winterbreath | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | oskuS=DDD | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | And3tzh | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | winterbreath | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | oskuS=DDD | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | Fiktio | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | tomspon | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | oskuS=DDD | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winterbreath | 115 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | oskuS=DDD | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | tomspon | 77 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | And3tzh | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomspon | +4.41 | 58 | 67 |
| #2 | oskuS=DDD | +3.02 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | Rene | +1.57 | 52 | 73 |
| #4 | winterbreath | +1.06 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | Penteroinen | -0.99 | 57 | 48 |





