








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2153 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2108 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1910 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1975 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,035 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penteroinen | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | And3tzh | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | NXLO | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | winterbreath | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | oskuS=DDD | 51% | 57 |
| #7 | sClash | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | Jobbi$ | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | :) | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Charlie Murphy | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskuS=DDD | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | winterbreath | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Jobbi$ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | NXLO | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winterbreath | 197 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | oskuS=DDD | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jobbi$ | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | sClash | 55 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Charlie Murphy | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sClash | +1.57 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | NXLO | +1.07 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | tomspon | +0.69 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | oskuS=DDD | +0.42 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | :) | -0.03 | 80 | 62 |





