








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 22% |
| Smokes | 368 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,148 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guppy)) | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Kailando | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | kuffo | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Rene | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Vardu | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 58% | 26 |
| #10 | winterbreath | 54% | 13 |
| #11 | oskuS=DDD | 54% | 28 |
| #12 | Penteroinen | 53% | 17 |
| #13 | Mankiiii | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskuS=DDD | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Hippopotamus Amphibius | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mankiiii | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Rene | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winterbreath | 85 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | oskuS=DDD | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kailando | 48 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #4 | tomspon | 47 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mankiiii | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rene | +6.60 | 65 | 75 |
| #2 | oskuS=DDD | +5.63 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | tomspon | +4.28 | 65 | 75 |
| #4 | Guppy)) | +3.10 | 88 | 31 |
| #5 | leduxx | +2.84 | 62 | 67 |





